[life now.]

Hey again, it's been awhile.

The past few months have been filled with so much goodness, lessons, laughs, trips, and dreams. 

Being a senior is such a good, hard stage in life. Good because we are almost done with school forever. What. I don't even know what life is like without knowing what I'm doing in the fall, winter and spring; but that's the good part about it. I can do anything and go anywhere, there's so much freedom in God's plan for me and there's beauty and excitement in that. However, senior year is hard because this has been my life for the past 3 years, this is familiar, this is home. I'm trying to soak it up. Soak up the burning red trees in autumn, tailgates on game days, rainy days in Espresso News, and late nights at Cookout...but it's hard.
"Why is it hard Lauren?"
Oh thanks for asking, let me tell you.
 My day is planned out, everyday. Not typically filled with things I want to do either, but with schoolwork, projects, meetings. Ew. I have never, ever wanted to quit school as much as I want to now. Yes, I know, I'm so close why would I want to stop now. I want to quit because I want rest. No matter how far ahead I finish work, there is more for me to do. I have left my apartment everyday this week at 7:00 a.m. and return around 11:00 p.m., sometimes later.
Life is not meant to be lived this way.
Going through the motions, never getting a full night of sleep, barely seeing my roommates, and stress taking over my mind constantly; who wants to live life like this?
Not me.
If this is how the real world is, count me out.
Jesus calls us to live a life with peace and patience, not chaotic and stressful. But Jesus also calls us to be content in any situation. In Philippians 4 it says:

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Cool. Okay, okay I get it. Reality check, even though God doesn't want this life for me, He is not going to just pull me out of it and place right where I wish to be. I wish He would pull me out of school and give me the perfect job in Colorado complete with free trips all around the world. No, that would be the dream, but no. Instead, God tells us to pray with thanksgiving and not be anxious. How the heck do I do that. How can I be thankful for writing press releases and group projects and late nights with early mornings? But when I stop and think about it, I guess I can up with a few things to be thankful for...

I'm thankful for the discipline I'm learning from projects on top of projects on top of projects.
For watching the sunrise in the early mornings on the way to campus.
Making good grades with my hard work.
Study breaks that involve walks on the Greenway.

It's not a lot, but it's something. So that will be my prayer, of thanksgiving for this time of busyness and restlessness, and through seeking the Lord I will find peace and comfort in the midst of craziness. 
When the world is throwing everything at me, I will choose to see Jesus in it. This isn't my favorite time in life, but it is where I am, it is where God has me, so therefore, I am content.

Don't worry Mom and Dad, I'm not quitting school. I'm thankful for it.

[thankfulness]

I like to post these every once in awhile. Hopefully I will do it more often this summer.
If you know me, you know I love two things:
1. to have big gratitude for the everyday "nothings"
2. adventures. big or small. I don't care, let's just go.

So, here is a mixture between the two. It's just a list of small but beautiful happenings recently in Hatteras. I like to record them throughout the week for myself, so I figured why not post them here in case any of you cyber friends care to read and hopefully be inspired to create your own list of things that made you smile and appreciate life. I got this idea from the book "1,000 Gifts", spoiler alert: it rocks, so go get it, read it, and love it! I've been at this list for a good while now...so I'm past 1,000 but didn't stop because I love it so much.

-warm, summer rains
-couches perfect for napping
-salty hair
-new friends
-jumping fences
-eating ice-cream twice a day
-playing until the sun goes down
-catching a wave
-late night board games
-discovering new places
-going straight to the beach after a long day of work
-turning go-karts into bumper cars
-bruises with a good story
-storm clouds rolling in
-walks on the beach
-surfer/skater lingo
-shades of blue in the ocean and sky blending together
-eating dinner with friends but as a family
-girl's time: watching "The Bachelorette"while eating chips and dip
-writing letters
-getting love from Colorado
-prayers that bring you to tears
-new songs
-friends giving you seashells because they know you love them
-sno-cones
-national donut day
-how every sunset is different, but all beautiful
-thinking about how God painted each sunset, he's an artist

[living a good story]

I wish nothing more than to bring all of my family and friends here to Hatteras because I feel like no matter what I write or say to describe my experiences here, it still does not give it justice. I wish you could feel the sand between your toes even when you're not on the beach, hear my friends Brandi and John sing worship, smell the salty air..and then taste the salt in your hair, or ride a bike with us to Frisco Tackle for an Arnold Palmer and a bag of Cheetos. I wish you could see our high school friends skate and how hard core they are, watch Brooke and I learn how to surf, hear the laughter at our family dinners Sunday nights, and watch us play soccer as a community every Monday..with my friends acting like fools as Nathan trips over the ball and Kurt wears two jerseys for no reason. All of these random pieces of memories create a larger picture of what my life has looked liked for the past month, and I couldn't be more grateful.
Last week the Young Life group from Virginia Beach (also known as: "VaBa's") came for a short but sweet visit and we had the privilege of living life with them for a few days. One of the talks our friend Josh Shaw gave really hit me hard with inspiration. He talked about how living life is Jesus anything but boring, but it is a constant adventure. A common misconception I feel like people have is that following Jesus means you have to be boring and safe. This could not be further from the truth. We worship a God who has an entire book full of incredible stories that are the craziest of adventures. Stories like feeding 5,000 people with a boy's simple lunch (let that sink in, that's a whole lot of people), Jesus and his friend Peter walking on water (pretty sure I have never been crazy enough to try that), or like a man who couldn't move, picking up the mat he has lived his whole life on, and walking. Or the time God called a Shepard boy (picture my little brother) to kill a giant, win battles, and become a king. I bet David was not expecting God to change his life like that, but he did. Those stories sound pretty incredible to me, and the best part is that they are real and there are so many more. What a life Jesus lived, and what a life God calls us to live.
We are digging deeper into Jesus' life together here as "three 1 six" volunteers, and it has been so eye-opening for me. Between Josh's talk and the stories we read about and discuss, I definitely know God calls us to more than we settle for. He calls us to take risks. I feel like I always write about this, but I think it's a good thing to be reminded of. I want people to look at my life and see Jesus in every crazy story, every place he took me, and every risk I took.
So my life with God may not include walking on water, ruling a nation, controlling the weather, or saving a country...I mean I won't say that wouldn't be sweet if I did...but he has taken me on my own adventures. There has been plenty of traveling to beautiful places, hiking great heights, allowing me to conquer fears, try new things, and some pretty incredible stories from all of them. I know he has more grand adventures planned, and I'm thankful for that. I'm also thankful that he wants the same for you, God has plenty of crazy plans for you to take on, all you have to do is listen and go.

Sandy Feet

Wow, I have officially been on this island for one week, and what a week it has been.

I have met some incredible people, eaten a lot of trashy but delicious food, gotten a lot of sun, learned what "chud" means, played the funniest game of putt-putt, almost got run over by a surfer mid-ride, and learned so much about the early life of Christ. I still feel like that does not even begin to scratch the surface of my first week here.

The Lord is so sweet to me and has provided so much this week. He has given me great friends/community in a new place and a heart for this island. I knew nothing really about where I was going, I just knew it was the beach...and I did not love the beach y'all. However, after this week and being on the beach everyday, I could not be more excited about living the beach life all summer. The life here is simple, but filled with so much joy. The greatest discovery for me has been that shoes are optional everywhere and anywhere here.

I. Love. It.

Unless you're skating, you do not need to wear shoes. No but seriously. I went to the store today in a big t-shirt and bathing suit. That's it, and I have absolutely no shame about it. It actually rocks. However, with this change I have also learned quickly that pavement and sand can get painfully hot...so that's been rough on my feet but I'll move on.

Besides having slightly dirtier feet, being shoeless has been surprisingly fun. It has also made me think of stepping out and taking chances in my faith. Like "taking off my shoes" literally as well as spiritually. Taking chances and doing something that might be different than what I'm used to, but feeling free in it. 

With that mindset spiritually, I want to go places I never have with Jesus and not be afraid to go deeper. I have already learned so much and feel walls he is tearing down, just in one week. I have gotten to see Jesus in a different light than I ever have before, and it is beautiful.

I want to run towards Jesus wholeheartedly and barefoot. I don't want the hot sand to stop me or slow me down, but just to run for him regardless of obstacles in the way. I want to walk with him not within boundaries; but without fear, in confidence and freedom. 

The world (off the island) may have its own opinions and say not wearing shoes is weird and unsanitary, but this is right and acceptable where I am now, so I do not need to take those opinions to heart. The world also has its opinions about how to follow Jesus, like what it should look like, where I should go, what scripture to memorize, and the list goes on. It's a good thing God loves me for me and delights in childlike faith. Faith where I run and dance with no shoes and go when I may not know what's next, but I jump headfirst and trust anyways.

Yeah maybe my feet are dirtier and sandier, but there is a strange freedom about it. I feel like I am jumping into something wholeheartedly and daring to do something different for me. This is what God created life with him to look like; not safe and clean, but taking chances and never staying where you feel safe.
I hope y'all are starting to get that this post isn't really about being weird and dirty by not wearing shoes, but about what I'm learning life with Christ looks like. So my friends, this summer I am pressing on with every intention to challenge myself in new ways in my relationship with Jesus. I am taking off my shoes, both in my walk with Christ and literally in my walk to the beach.

New Adventures

Summer is here my friends! Hallelujah.
I know it has been awhile since my last post on here, but I have been plenty busy in this last month of school. It's been full of flowers, pretty drives, thrifting, graduations, goodbyes, and new friends (and of course lots of studying, projects, papers, blah blah blah). I know you didn't ask, but here are the highlights:

I am personally a big fan of reflection at the end/beginning of milestones in my life. I love sitting with God and going through the lessons he taught me, the hard moments, the times I felt far from him (only to be followed by the realizations that he never left me), the adventures we went on together, and the beautiful times I saw him in my days. This year, as I began my drive down the mountain towards home, I decided to stop on the Blue Ridge Parkway, and goodness I'm so glad I did. As I sat with mountains spread around me as far as the eye could see, I was hit with the realization of how small I am. Like y'all, this world is huge. As I sat there I whispered "Jesus you are so good to me, thank you for these mountains that provide beauty and humility in my life," and as soon as I said it I could hear God move with these words: "My dear, these are great, but you are my real masterpiece." And that's real y'all. Yes the sights in this world are incredible, but those are a speck of dust compared to how God sees us, and lets be honest- his opinion is the only one that matters. So that was a sweet realization.

I also loved taking in this view of the mountains because I am heading east for the summer, way east, like the furthest east I've ever been in North Carolina. I will be living on the Carolina coast on Hatteras Island volunteering with a ministry, three 1 six, hanging out with high school kids. It's something a bit out of my comfort zone, but that's what God calls us to right? (answer- yes.)

So I am beyond excited about this opportunity and it's going to be an incredible experience. I honestly don't know what to expect, but God has led me there so I know it is good and right for me. It makes me think that there are a lot of uncertainties in life, times when the next step is fuzzy and we don't know what we are going into. That's when I remind myself of this truth, the only thing I know for sure is that I will be God's forever, so therefore I will trust. No matter what happens in life, what changes occur, the one thing that remains is Jesus; and I belong to him. So all I can do is trust. Trust that he loves me, knows me, wants what's best for me, has chosen me, and will carry me through life's endeavors. I hope that is comforting for you, as it has been for me.

So my friends, wherever the Lord takes you this summer, go in boldness and go with the truth that it is where God has planned for you, so trust him.

p.s.- I met this guy the other day. Dream. Come. True.

Rainy Days

I am currently sitting in our local donut/coffee shop and I just indulged in a huge chocolate donut with rainbow sprinkles. So therefore, I am happy. It is also Friday, that makes me happy too. And, it is raining outside, which surprisingly is a joy as well. I am all about some sunshine and the perfect weather to play outside; but cozy, slow, rainy days like this are just what I need every once in a while. I like to call these days dreamy days, they make me slow down after a week of running through the week at full speed. Now, I can sit and be still.
I was just reading my Bible and read some sweet truths (shocker, Jesus teaching me something new). So as I flipped open my journal to scribble down some verses, I opened to January 8, 2013 and saw a sweet blurb in large letters across the page. It read:

"O Lord, I will only triumph in you

once I have learned the radiance of rain."

I don't even remember how I was feeling that day, or what I was doing, or how these words impacted me, but today- it hits home for me. I don't know about y'all, but I spend too much time rejoicing in the Lord when I come out of a hard season in life, rather than rejoicing in him during the storms of my life. Not even just rejoicing in Jesus, but thanking him and seeing the beauty of the rainy season. As soon as life gets hard, I easily run to the Lord in prayer that he will fix everything and help me. And that's if I even run to Him, sometimes that doesn't happen, which is hard to admit, but it's true. The things to remember with these rainy seasons in life are: 

1) They will happen, I'm sorry but you're human and you can't avoid it. 2) God is not punishing you. 3) God is teaching you. He is using this experience to teach you something great, something that the Lord knows you need. So rather than grumbling about how life sucks and unfair and God must not be listening to my prayers, blah blah blah (I'm saying this because I am guilty of these thoughts)...try praising the Lord for this time of growth He has given you, open your hands and prepare to receive this gift of learning from our Savior.

As Christians, we talk about living a "fruitful" life. Well, in order for a harvest to be fruitful, it needs to experience rain so it can grow.

The fruitful life seeks rain as well as sunshine.

So my friends, while I am thankful for the physical rain on this cozy Friday, I am also super thankful for the rainy seasons in my life. I don't want to look back on those times and think, where was God during that? I want to look back on those challenging times and praise God for being a faithful teacher and loving Father every step of that season.

Thank you Jesus for bringing abundant showers.

Happy Friday sweet readers.

Coming Home

This weekend was the sweetest of times when my friends and I escaped from school and the cold. For my most recent roadtrip adventure, we drove down to Charleston, SC for the Cooper River Bridge Run, and to get some much needed Vitamin D from the sunshine. The weekend consisted of running, screaming Taylor Swift music, sunburns, tanning in strangers' yards, our new favorite dog Homer, an incredible amount of laughter, and dreaming of ways to live in a beautiful home located right there on the Battery in downtown Charleston. I think everyone could always use a weekend away with your friends and no itinerary.

Sunday morning we explored the city of Charleston. I think I speak for everyone when I say we took in all the beauty we saw. We loved walking by slowly and staring at each brightly-painted home along the cobblestone street (which by the way are a joke to walk on). Oh, and the flowers...unreal. We had to pull my nika friend Avery off every flower we walked by, she could smell them all day. It is crazy to me that those sights are ordinary for the residents there. As we saw more of the city, we began joking about why we didn't go to College of Charleston for school. Now keep in mind, this all started because this was the first beautifully warm place we had seen after being buried in snow for 5 months. This place seemed so ideal compared to the winter we experienced. I got back in the car later slightly bitter that we had to return to Boone, the frozen tundra (okay- dramatic). But as we drove up the mountain and looked over the Blue Ridge mountains, I was reminded why I love Boone so much and why I go to school here. The purple in the sky blended perfectly with the blue haze of the mountains, and orange burst out from behind the ridge like fire. My words or even a picture do not give it justice. Then, this week in Boone has been incredible, it is finally Spring! Tank tops, hammocks, slack lining, frisbees, and dirty bare feet have finally returned to my life. Now, I can't imagine being anywhere else.
The only downside to all the roadtrips and seeing new places is that it becomes easy to long for what I don't have. Wanting a cute Charleston home, warm weather year round, an ocean view, is all pointless because it takes me away from the present. I focus so much on what I want rather than appreciating and seeing the beauty in what I already have. Now I know, I don't need those things to be happy. I'm already living the dream life at Appalachian.
Be present where you are and find the beauty in your current place in life. Goodness is there. And that is my cheesy life lesson for the week.

In reality, I love Boone and would never trade the mountain range as my backyard and my friends that have become family for anything else. No matter where life takes me, one of my favorite parts of roadtrips is coming home.

Oceans

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior"

This post specifically goes out to all the 20-something year-olds/college kids out there. I mean anyone can read this, but I feel like this age group will better understand where I am coming from. I have been hearing the words "purpose" and "plan" a bit more than usual for the past month. You know, everyone around you is asking: "What are your plans after college?""What careers are you looking at?""Where would you like to go?" "Are you dating anyone?" (okay that last one was just my personal experience). Then, as Christians we are always brought back to the thought: What is God's purpose for my life? So we try to have a plan. We choose our path only to have that door slammed right in our faces, leaving us outside lost and confused about where to go from here (that was me this week, by the way).
It is kind of scary and I have not been sure how to feel about it, until tonight.
Tonight at a campus ministry, New Life, I prayed a prayer. More specifically, I prayed the lyrics to the song "Oceans" by Hillsong (listed above). It struck a chord in me. Actually no, it was stronger than that. The words hit me like a tidal wave and flooded my heart, mind, and body that brought me truth and fear. Yes, fear. Fear because I knew as I prayed these words for my life, God would answer. I could feel him almost chuckling saying "Are you sure you want to do this?", because I know if I ask my father to "lead me where my trust is without borders..deeper than my feet could ever wander" he will do it; and that is scary for me. However, I only had that choking fear for a brief moment before it was overcome with peace. The song continues to say:

"My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine"

So after praying for God to take my future and make it his, I chose peace over fear, thanks to God's truth in these lyrics. What do I have to fear? I am God's. He loves me. He protects me. He is in control and knows what is best for me. This is God who knit me together and knows every hair on my head. Pretty sure that means he knows me better than I know myself. So why should I be afraid to give him my life? My plans? My future? Isn't that why I am here anyways, as a servant to God and proclaimer of the Gospel? If I am God's, then my life belongs to him as well, and there is freedom in that. Not fear. He is a God of freedom and love, so therefore I will trust him with my life.

Whew. Crazy stuff right? I mean I am not saying it will be easy, life with God is not typically easy, but this grasp of faith and trust is the first step in the right direction.

I had the privilege of seeing Donald Miller speak a couple weeks ago. His words also brought truth to this issue of "the plan" for your life. Here are some pretty sweet points I took from what he had to say:

-Our primary desire is to find meaning, but meaning is not a place we arrive at, it is something we experience.

-Jesus offers meaning, not comfort and glory.

-Find that thing that lights you up and gives you joy, and go do that with Jesus.

-Everything beautiful comes with a fight.

I especially love the last two points. Want to know what to do with your life? What gives you joy and lights you up? Go do that and go glorify Jesus through it. And the best part is Jesus wants to do it with you. What a sweet father. Also, everything beautiful comes with a fight. Think about it, what are the most meaningful things you have seen/done? Were you fearful or nervous about it beforehand? That's what I find to be true for me, all of the biggest, most meaningful experiences in my life started with fear and doubt. But I overcame it, and I'm sure glad I did. That's all you have to do too. Do not let fear control your life because it will prevent you from doing what God has called you to do. 

When I look back on my short life thus far, God has taken me to some incredible places and let me experience beautiful times. I want him to do the same for the rest of my life.

So I may not know what my plans are after graduation next year, where I will work, or even where I will live, but I do know this: I will do what I love, and I will do it wholeheartedly glorifying Jesus. I want to jump full-force into God's plan for my life joyfully and without fear, no matter how deep the waters are, because I trust he will embrace me in his presence as we embark on our adventures together.
So my friends, what's your plan?

Thankful Thursday

Today was one of those days when the Lord opened my eyes more than usual to the small, beautiful things in my ordinary day that turn out to be more than “things.” So I thought I would share some of them with you. I know you didn’t ask for them, but hopefully this will encourage you to give thanks for the things you take for granted everyday. So I guess…you’re welcome.

Today I am thankful for:

mornings that start off right. aka: with the word and a hot drink.

our cozy little (momentarily clean) kitchen. 

wool socks that are too big. 

breakfast in bed.

sweet gifts from roomz. and rainbow sprinkles.

my roomz and the way she lights up when she takes pictures.

the rare but always sweet times to play this guy.

Here’s to days when thankfulness turns everything into enough.

Epiphany in a Subway Station

Hopefully you can see from the title of my blog that I have the desire to just go. I love road trips more than most things in the world and since I have been blessed with friends who share this spirit of adventure as well, we tend to do some crazy trips together.

Like that time we drove to New York City last week.

It was incredible. I am not usually one for the city life, but it was quite a memorable trip. We crammed in as much sights as we could in the two days of exploration we had. It’s safe to say we were all left in awe of the big city with the impressive skyscrapers, crowds of people, and constant rush of everything around us. We learned quickly to walk fast because everyone had somewhere to be, and they were determined to get there as soon as possible, even of it meant shoving you aside.

Surprisingly, one of my favorite experiences was taking the subway everywhere. I was enthralled with the variety of people and different characters of New York all in one small space. One time in particular was especially sweet for me and my friends.

It was late in Brooklyn. My friends and I were full of fried pizza and our legs ached from walking around the city for the second day in a row. Needless to say, we were ready to put on our sweatpants and crash on the couch. As we made our way through the station, multiple people ran frantically past us to catch the subway before it pulled away. Our group decided that despite our tired spirits, we did not need to rush. The subway left as we walked up so we began to check the time for the next arrival. All of a sudden, we realized music was playing through the halls of this stop, which is normal for stations, but this music was different. One man sat next to us playing the harmonica, tambourine, banjo, and kick drum with vocals (I know, impressive right??) while his partner stood across the tracks playing the fiddle. We had seen a lot of subway performances so far but this one captivated us. It was obvious these guys had so much joy, they loved playing music and they were incredibly gifted with it as well. It may sound strange how happy seeing this performance made us, but I guess maybe you just had to be there. We got on the next subway ten minutes later still in awe of the crazy talents we just witnessed.

We immediately became thankful that we did not rush to catch the first subway, because if we did, we would not have heard the performance. While it is good to be driven and go places with a purpose, sometimes we use that as an excuse to constantly be rushing on to our next event planned or something to cross off our to-do lists. I can’t help but wonder what would happen if people went through the day strolling rather than running? It’s not only in New York City where people hurry through their days, but even here in little Boone town as well. I also wonder, what other things have I missed because I was distracted and self-seeking to just accomplish the next thing planned in my day? So why do I continue to busy myself anyways and believe I have to accomplish things to be successful in my day?  It’s like that cheesy saying, you know…where it says something about enjoying the journey not just your destination…or something inspiring like that. Maybe I should look that up…

I think that’s why I love road trips so much, because it was not only the destination of New York that was fun, but the drive there and back as well (if you asked me this around hour 9 of the drive back, I probably would not have said that…but looking back now I would.)

So the lesson from this long novel would be: life is not made up of “things” but experiences. So walk a little slower, take it all in, and enjoy the journey. Take trips. Oh, and take the time to learn several instruments, because you will earn automatic cool points from me. Also (side note) it takes a brave soul to drive in New York City- so shout out to our brave soul Graham Turner.

Have a sweet Wednesday my friends.