Hey again, it's been awhile.
The past few months have been filled with so much goodness, lessons, laughs, trips, and dreams.
Being a senior is such a good, hard stage in life. Good because we are almost done with school forever. What. I don't even know what life is like without knowing what I'm doing in the fall, winter and spring; but that's the good part about it. I can do anything and go anywhere, there's so much freedom in God's plan for me and there's beauty and excitement in that. However, senior year is hard because this has been my life for the past 3 years, this is familiar, this is home. I'm trying to soak it up. Soak up the burning red trees in autumn, tailgates on game days, rainy days in Espresso News, and late nights at Cookout...but it's hard.
"Why is it hard Lauren?"
Oh thanks for asking, let me tell you.
My day is planned out, everyday. Not typically filled with things I want to do either, but with schoolwork, projects, meetings. Ew. I have never, ever wanted to quit school as much as I want to now. Yes, I know, I'm so close why would I want to stop now. I want to quit because I want rest. No matter how far ahead I finish work, there is more for me to do. I have left my apartment everyday this week at 7:00 a.m. and return around 11:00 p.m., sometimes later.
Life is not meant to be lived this way.
Going through the motions, never getting a full night of sleep, barely seeing my roommates, and stress taking over my mind constantly; who wants to live life like this?
Not me.
If this is how the real world is, count me out.
Jesus calls us to live a life with peace and patience, not chaotic and stressful. But Jesus also calls us to be content in any situation. In Philippians 4 it says:
"Why is it hard Lauren?"
Oh thanks for asking, let me tell you.
My day is planned out, everyday. Not typically filled with things I want to do either, but with schoolwork, projects, meetings. Ew. I have never, ever wanted to quit school as much as I want to now. Yes, I know, I'm so close why would I want to stop now. I want to quit because I want rest. No matter how far ahead I finish work, there is more for me to do. I have left my apartment everyday this week at 7:00 a.m. and return around 11:00 p.m., sometimes later.
Life is not meant to be lived this way.
Going through the motions, never getting a full night of sleep, barely seeing my roommates, and stress taking over my mind constantly; who wants to live life like this?
Not me.
If this is how the real world is, count me out.
Jesus calls us to live a life with peace and patience, not chaotic and stressful. But Jesus also calls us to be content in any situation. In Philippians 4 it says:
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Cool. Okay, okay I get it. Reality check, even though God doesn't want this life for me, He is not going to just pull me out of it and place right where I wish to be. I wish He would pull me out of school and give me the perfect job in Colorado complete with free trips all around the world. No, that would be the dream, but no. Instead, God tells us to pray with thanksgiving and not be anxious. How the heck do I do that. How can I be thankful for writing press releases and group projects and late nights with early mornings? But when I stop and think about it, I guess I can up with a few things to be thankful for...
I'm thankful for the discipline I'm learning from projects on top of projects on top of projects.
For watching the sunrise in the early mornings on the way to campus.
Making good grades with my hard work.
Study breaks that involve walks on the Greenway.
It's not a lot, but it's something. So that will be my prayer, of thanksgiving for this time of busyness and restlessness, and through seeking the Lord I will find peace and comfort in the midst of craziness.
When the world is throwing everything at me, I will choose to see Jesus in it. This isn't my favorite time in life, but it is where I am, it is where God has me, so therefore, I am content.
Don't worry Mom and Dad, I'm not quitting school. I'm thankful for it.
I'm thankful for the discipline I'm learning from projects on top of projects on top of projects.
For watching the sunrise in the early mornings on the way to campus.
Making good grades with my hard work.
Study breaks that involve walks on the Greenway.
It's not a lot, but it's something. So that will be my prayer, of thanksgiving for this time of busyness and restlessness, and through seeking the Lord I will find peace and comfort in the midst of craziness.
When the world is throwing everything at me, I will choose to see Jesus in it. This isn't my favorite time in life, but it is where I am, it is where God has me, so therefore, I am content.
Don't worry Mom and Dad, I'm not quitting school. I'm thankful for it.
