First of all, the Lord is already moving. In me and here in Haiti. It has been crazy, to say the least, going from the office hearing about the work being done internationally, to seeing it in the field. You can't drive through Haiti without seeing a Samaritan's Purse blue tarp being used as shelter, or a wall, from the earthquake five years ago. All the effort, time, energy and money really does make a difference, even still today.
For me, I can already tell this season will be one of growth. It takes stepping out of my "normal" life and into somewhere completely new, with no familiar faces around me, to realize all my faults. This week I have faced convictions I have always felt but have never been forced to deal with. I am hard on myself, I turn to other people for my worth, and I do not turn to the Lord when I should- rather, I try to handle it myself. I have realized how much easier it is for me to follow the Lord back home. I have my cozy breakfast while I read my bible (or praying I won't be late for work speeding down 321 because I woke up late), seeing beauty and encouragement in my community that loved and supported me, reading a Henri Nouwen book in a coffee shop and underlining every word, talking about Jesus with high school girls....the list could go on and on how easy it was for me to be reminded of Jesus at home. Here, it's just different, and because of that I have quickly become aware of the first person I turn to...myself. "Lauren, you need to learn Creole", "I have to find a solution to this problem", "I have to do a good job", "I have to make them proud", "Lauren, you already met that child why can't you remember his name?!" "Lauren don't mess this up". I'd like to think we all have been there too...at least I hope so.
With all of that said, wow I am SO thankful that my God is a good teacher, he is patient, kind, and reminds me of his presence even when I feel so far from it. I came into this internship a week ago ready to take on the challenge, determined to jump headfirst into a new, deeper understanding of Jesus in my walk with him. Now, in just 7 days, I have learned that for this to happen, God will break me, push me, and challenge me in a whole new way...and honestly he already has. It's hard to learn this way, but how else can God remove me from the picture so that all I see is him?
With all of this said, it is clear I am here in Haiti working at the Greta Home and Academy for such a time as this. It is truly God's plan, and I love it. I love being by the ocean in the middle of winter, I love the team here (the people I get to live and work with), I love the grinning children that wander into the office just to say hello, I love the patience and smiles on peoples' faces when I speak broken Creole, I love watching the sun sink behind mountains and reflect over the water from base, I love the fresh fruit for breakfast, and I love that even though this is a lost, broken and hard place- there is beauty in it and glimpses of Jesus, you just have to choose to see it.
Yes, it is difficult, but yes it is very much worth it.
Oh and yes...I also went snorkeling around reefs in crystal blue waters with friends and that was just super great.
Bon orevwa pou kounye a!
"being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." Colossians 1:11-14
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