[life now.]

Hey again, it's been awhile.

The past few months have been filled with so much goodness, lessons, laughs, trips, and dreams. 

Being a senior is such a good, hard stage in life. Good because we are almost done with school forever. What. I don't even know what life is like without knowing what I'm doing in the fall, winter and spring; but that's the good part about it. I can do anything and go anywhere, there's so much freedom in God's plan for me and there's beauty and excitement in that. However, senior year is hard because this has been my life for the past 3 years, this is familiar, this is home. I'm trying to soak it up. Soak up the burning red trees in autumn, tailgates on game days, rainy days in Espresso News, and late nights at Cookout...but it's hard.
"Why is it hard Lauren?"
Oh thanks for asking, let me tell you.
 My day is planned out, everyday. Not typically filled with things I want to do either, but with schoolwork, projects, meetings. Ew. I have never, ever wanted to quit school as much as I want to now. Yes, I know, I'm so close why would I want to stop now. I want to quit because I want rest. No matter how far ahead I finish work, there is more for me to do. I have left my apartment everyday this week at 7:00 a.m. and return around 11:00 p.m., sometimes later.
Life is not meant to be lived this way.
Going through the motions, never getting a full night of sleep, barely seeing my roommates, and stress taking over my mind constantly; who wants to live life like this?
Not me.
If this is how the real world is, count me out.
Jesus calls us to live a life with peace and patience, not chaotic and stressful. But Jesus also calls us to be content in any situation. In Philippians 4 it says:

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Cool. Okay, okay I get it. Reality check, even though God doesn't want this life for me, He is not going to just pull me out of it and place right where I wish to be. I wish He would pull me out of school and give me the perfect job in Colorado complete with free trips all around the world. No, that would be the dream, but no. Instead, God tells us to pray with thanksgiving and not be anxious. How the heck do I do that. How can I be thankful for writing press releases and group projects and late nights with early mornings? But when I stop and think about it, I guess I can up with a few things to be thankful for...

I'm thankful for the discipline I'm learning from projects on top of projects on top of projects.
For watching the sunrise in the early mornings on the way to campus.
Making good grades with my hard work.
Study breaks that involve walks on the Greenway.

It's not a lot, but it's something. So that will be my prayer, of thanksgiving for this time of busyness and restlessness, and through seeking the Lord I will find peace and comfort in the midst of craziness. 
When the world is throwing everything at me, I will choose to see Jesus in it. This isn't my favorite time in life, but it is where I am, it is where God has me, so therefore, I am content.

Don't worry Mom and Dad, I'm not quitting school. I'm thankful for it.

[thankfulness]

I like to post these every once in awhile. Hopefully I will do it more often this summer.
If you know me, you know I love two things:
1. to have big gratitude for the everyday "nothings"
2. adventures. big or small. I don't care, let's just go.

So, here is a mixture between the two. It's just a list of small but beautiful happenings recently in Hatteras. I like to record them throughout the week for myself, so I figured why not post them here in case any of you cyber friends care to read and hopefully be inspired to create your own list of things that made you smile and appreciate life. I got this idea from the book "1,000 Gifts", spoiler alert: it rocks, so go get it, read it, and love it! I've been at this list for a good while now...so I'm past 1,000 but didn't stop because I love it so much.

-warm, summer rains
-couches perfect for napping
-salty hair
-new friends
-jumping fences
-eating ice-cream twice a day
-playing until the sun goes down
-catching a wave
-late night board games
-discovering new places
-going straight to the beach after a long day of work
-turning go-karts into bumper cars
-bruises with a good story
-storm clouds rolling in
-walks on the beach
-surfer/skater lingo
-shades of blue in the ocean and sky blending together
-eating dinner with friends but as a family
-girl's time: watching "The Bachelorette"while eating chips and dip
-writing letters
-getting love from Colorado
-prayers that bring you to tears
-new songs
-friends giving you seashells because they know you love them
-sno-cones
-national donut day
-how every sunset is different, but all beautiful
-thinking about how God painted each sunset, he's an artist

[living a good story]

I wish nothing more than to bring all of my family and friends here to Hatteras because I feel like no matter what I write or say to describe my experiences here, it still does not give it justice. I wish you could feel the sand between your toes even when you're not on the beach, hear my friends Brandi and John sing worship, smell the salty air..and then taste the salt in your hair, or ride a bike with us to Frisco Tackle for an Arnold Palmer and a bag of Cheetos. I wish you could see our high school friends skate and how hard core they are, watch Brooke and I learn how to surf, hear the laughter at our family dinners Sunday nights, and watch us play soccer as a community every Monday..with my friends acting like fools as Nathan trips over the ball and Kurt wears two jerseys for no reason. All of these random pieces of memories create a larger picture of what my life has looked liked for the past month, and I couldn't be more grateful.
Last week the Young Life group from Virginia Beach (also known as: "VaBa's") came for a short but sweet visit and we had the privilege of living life with them for a few days. One of the talks our friend Josh Shaw gave really hit me hard with inspiration. He talked about how living life is Jesus anything but boring, but it is a constant adventure. A common misconception I feel like people have is that following Jesus means you have to be boring and safe. This could not be further from the truth. We worship a God who has an entire book full of incredible stories that are the craziest of adventures. Stories like feeding 5,000 people with a boy's simple lunch (let that sink in, that's a whole lot of people), Jesus and his friend Peter walking on water (pretty sure I have never been crazy enough to try that), or like a man who couldn't move, picking up the mat he has lived his whole life on, and walking. Or the time God called a Shepard boy (picture my little brother) to kill a giant, win battles, and become a king. I bet David was not expecting God to change his life like that, but he did. Those stories sound pretty incredible to me, and the best part is that they are real and there are so many more. What a life Jesus lived, and what a life God calls us to live.
We are digging deeper into Jesus' life together here as "three 1 six" volunteers, and it has been so eye-opening for me. Between Josh's talk and the stories we read about and discuss, I definitely know God calls us to more than we settle for. He calls us to take risks. I feel like I always write about this, but I think it's a good thing to be reminded of. I want people to look at my life and see Jesus in every crazy story, every place he took me, and every risk I took.
So my life with God may not include walking on water, ruling a nation, controlling the weather, or saving a country...I mean I won't say that wouldn't be sweet if I did...but he has taken me on my own adventures. There has been plenty of traveling to beautiful places, hiking great heights, allowing me to conquer fears, try new things, and some pretty incredible stories from all of them. I know he has more grand adventures planned, and I'm thankful for that. I'm also thankful that he wants the same for you, God has plenty of crazy plans for you to take on, all you have to do is listen and go.

Sandy Feet

Wow, I have officially been on this island for one week, and what a week it has been.

I have met some incredible people, eaten a lot of trashy but delicious food, gotten a lot of sun, learned what "chud" means, played the funniest game of putt-putt, almost got run over by a surfer mid-ride, and learned so much about the early life of Christ. I still feel like that does not even begin to scratch the surface of my first week here.

The Lord is so sweet to me and has provided so much this week. He has given me great friends/community in a new place and a heart for this island. I knew nothing really about where I was going, I just knew it was the beach...and I did not love the beach y'all. However, after this week and being on the beach everyday, I could not be more excited about living the beach life all summer. The life here is simple, but filled with so much joy. The greatest discovery for me has been that shoes are optional everywhere and anywhere here.

I. Love. It.

Unless you're skating, you do not need to wear shoes. No but seriously. I went to the store today in a big t-shirt and bathing suit. That's it, and I have absolutely no shame about it. It actually rocks. However, with this change I have also learned quickly that pavement and sand can get painfully hot...so that's been rough on my feet but I'll move on.

Besides having slightly dirtier feet, being shoeless has been surprisingly fun. It has also made me think of stepping out and taking chances in my faith. Like "taking off my shoes" literally as well as spiritually. Taking chances and doing something that might be different than what I'm used to, but feeling free in it. 

With that mindset spiritually, I want to go places I never have with Jesus and not be afraid to go deeper. I have already learned so much and feel walls he is tearing down, just in one week. I have gotten to see Jesus in a different light than I ever have before, and it is beautiful.

I want to run towards Jesus wholeheartedly and barefoot. I don't want the hot sand to stop me or slow me down, but just to run for him regardless of obstacles in the way. I want to walk with him not within boundaries; but without fear, in confidence and freedom. 

The world (off the island) may have its own opinions and say not wearing shoes is weird and unsanitary, but this is right and acceptable where I am now, so I do not need to take those opinions to heart. The world also has its opinions about how to follow Jesus, like what it should look like, where I should go, what scripture to memorize, and the list goes on. It's a good thing God loves me for me and delights in childlike faith. Faith where I run and dance with no shoes and go when I may not know what's next, but I jump headfirst and trust anyways.

Yeah maybe my feet are dirtier and sandier, but there is a strange freedom about it. I feel like I am jumping into something wholeheartedly and daring to do something different for me. This is what God created life with him to look like; not safe and clean, but taking chances and never staying where you feel safe.
I hope y'all are starting to get that this post isn't really about being weird and dirty by not wearing shoes, but about what I'm learning life with Christ looks like. So my friends, this summer I am pressing on with every intention to challenge myself in new ways in my relationship with Jesus. I am taking off my shoes, both in my walk with Christ and literally in my walk to the beach.

New Adventures

Summer is here my friends! Hallelujah.
I know it has been awhile since my last post on here, but I have been plenty busy in this last month of school. It's been full of flowers, pretty drives, thrifting, graduations, goodbyes, and new friends (and of course lots of studying, projects, papers, blah blah blah). I know you didn't ask, but here are the highlights:

I am personally a big fan of reflection at the end/beginning of milestones in my life. I love sitting with God and going through the lessons he taught me, the hard moments, the times I felt far from him (only to be followed by the realizations that he never left me), the adventures we went on together, and the beautiful times I saw him in my days. This year, as I began my drive down the mountain towards home, I decided to stop on the Blue Ridge Parkway, and goodness I'm so glad I did. As I sat with mountains spread around me as far as the eye could see, I was hit with the realization of how small I am. Like y'all, this world is huge. As I sat there I whispered "Jesus you are so good to me, thank you for these mountains that provide beauty and humility in my life," and as soon as I said it I could hear God move with these words: "My dear, these are great, but you are my real masterpiece." And that's real y'all. Yes the sights in this world are incredible, but those are a speck of dust compared to how God sees us, and lets be honest- his opinion is the only one that matters. So that was a sweet realization.

I also loved taking in this view of the mountains because I am heading east for the summer, way east, like the furthest east I've ever been in North Carolina. I will be living on the Carolina coast on Hatteras Island volunteering with a ministry, three 1 six, hanging out with high school kids. It's something a bit out of my comfort zone, but that's what God calls us to right? (answer- yes.)

So I am beyond excited about this opportunity and it's going to be an incredible experience. I honestly don't know what to expect, but God has led me there so I know it is good and right for me. It makes me think that there are a lot of uncertainties in life, times when the next step is fuzzy and we don't know what we are going into. That's when I remind myself of this truth, the only thing I know for sure is that I will be God's forever, so therefore I will trust. No matter what happens in life, what changes occur, the one thing that remains is Jesus; and I belong to him. So all I can do is trust. Trust that he loves me, knows me, wants what's best for me, has chosen me, and will carry me through life's endeavors. I hope that is comforting for you, as it has been for me.

So my friends, wherever the Lord takes you this summer, go in boldness and go with the truth that it is where God has planned for you, so trust him.

p.s.- I met this guy the other day. Dream. Come. True.